When we sit and tell ourselves that its too late, I cant change, my chance has gone, its all too familiar to allow this internal narrative to ramble on and on and before you know it a pattern has been created, an automatic one in which we will continue to follow until such a time we say NO.
I was once like this, particularly having two very capable young daughters which only reminded me daily how I was old and they had it all ahead of them. How ridiculous was it for me to think I can be anyone different to who I have been all of my life. Again the narrative of 50 years right there, its so rehearsed there is no chance of it ever being challenged. Its an etched pathway which would take a long long time to grow over and stop being activated.
Well so I thought until I just stopped and reminded myself that this is a pattern. I gave up smoking many many years ago by making a decision I was no longer a smoker and I created a new pattern ( sometimes known as a habit)
With this I created new and more beneficial patterns and I have used this mindset since then in all aspects of my life. When I become aware that change is needed I simply identify the pattern at play and I interrupt the shit out of it. Obliterate it so that it cannot work again as it did. I likened it to a CD (for those less than 30 years old this is a shiny circular disc which played movies and music on) if you got the slightest scratch or dirt on the disc it would not play making the sounds different or the speed off, this is how I pictured the change, I scratched it to a point it couldn’t play the same again.
So with the narrative of ‘I am too old, its too late’ blah blah blah the new narrative became says who ? where are the facts to state this is the case ? there were none therefore how can I continue believing something which is not true and allowing the patterns to continue.
Every time I caught myself saying these words or statements I would shout very Loudly STOP. Take a moment and then become aware of what Path ( pattern ) and technically called neurological pathway am I about to merrily go down. Once you become aware you can change ANYTHING.
So you can start now and its ok if you miss some here and there because after practice you will not be able to let any statement go without firstly assessing what pattern is at play. Start now and restart every time you need to, Refocus your attention and then reset to changing each and every patten that does not serve you.
For ways in which to make this a daily habit in your life you can contact me anytime at charlotte@mindsetmanagement.co.uk or simply post any questions you may have I would love to discuss in more detail. I find it fascinating and I hope those of you reading this will also.